How Robot Are You?

A tin bouncer guards the Bots-Only Club. Pass eight quick precision tests, from a dead-straight line to an exact angle, and get your robot percentage.

How Robot Are You? is a quick precision test with a verdict at the end. A goblin-built tin bouncer guards the Bots-Only Club, and humans are far too wobbly to get in. Prove you are a machine in eight short tests: draw a dead-straight line from bolt to bolt, hear four clicks and then keep the tempo for eight taps on your own, set a needle to an exact angle on a dial marked only at 0, 90 and 180 degrees, cut a lopsided blob of goo into two equal halves with one swipe, stop a stopwatch at an exact time, drop a pin on a flat plate's center of mass, stretch a plain bar to the length of a standing or tilted rod, and type a ten-character serial on a keypad before six seconds run out. Each test measures your error and scores it from 0 to 100%. Your verdict is the average, shown as a robot percentage with a rank from Houseplant through Toaster and Robot Vacuum up to Mainframe, and a robot portrait whose eight panels turn from leaves and cardboard to tin, steel and chrome for each test you nailed. Reach 75% and you are granted access to the club. The Standard scan gives everyone exactly the same eight tests, so a challenge link is a fair fight. The Daily scan sets new targets every day. A run takes about 60 to 90 seconds, and on Goblin Arcade your best scores save automatically.

By Goblin Originals

How to play

Drag, swipe and tap with mouse or touch / Space or Enter taps, stops and locks in, 0–9 and A–F type the serial

Press Prove I'm a robot to start the Standard scan, the same eight tests for everyone. Each test explains itself in one line at the top, and most have about ten seconds on the clock.

Drawing and dragging tests (the straight line, the needle, the goo cut, the center-of-mass pin and the rod) use one finger or the mouse. The line must start on one bolt and end on the other, or you draw it again. On tests with a Lock it in button, adjust until you are happy and press it (or Space or Enter). If the clock runs out first, whatever you have set is locked in for you, and a pin never dropped scores 0.

Timing tests use taps: hear four clicks, then tap eight beats yourself at the same tempo, and start and stop the stopwatch at the target time. Space or Enter works on a keyboard.

After each test a stamp shows your score, and the reveal shows exactly what was measured. When all eight are done, the verdict gives your robot percentage, your rank and whether you are granted access to the club (75% or more).

Tips

Precision beats speed. Apart from the serial, finishing early earns nothing extra, so use the time you have.

On the tempo test only the gaps between your taps count, not whether they land on the old clicks, so focus on keeping them even.

The needle and the bar follow your finger's movement, so you can grab anywhere and nudge. You do not have to cover the thing you are adjusting.

The goo cut uses the whole line through the start and end of your swipe, so a short, careful swipe in the right direction is enough.

On the serial a wrong key costs 10 points and does not move you on. A steady pace usually beats rushing.

Is How Robot Are You? free to play online?

Yes. It is an original browser game that runs in the page with no download, account or app.

Can I play on a phone?

Yes. Every test works by touch, including the serial test, which has its own on-screen keypad so a phone keyboard never decides the result. Portrait and landscape both work.

How is my score worked out?

Each test turns your measured error into a score from 0 to 100%. For example, the line (which must run from bolt to bolt) is scored on its wobble, the angle on degrees off, and the goo cut on how unequal the two halves are. Your robot percentage is the average of the eight, and the score posted to the arcade is that percentage times ten, from 0 to 1000.

Is a challenge fair if my friend gets different tests?

They won't get different tests. The Standard scan uses one fixed set of targets for everyone, so a challenge link compares the same tests. The Daily scan changes its targets every day (UTC), so compare Daily scores with friends playing on the same day.

Does it save my results?

Yes, on Goblin Arcade. Your best Standard score, your best Daily score for each of the last two weeks, your best on each test and the sound setting save automatically. Played outside the arcade, results last only until the page closes.

Can I play if I am colorblind?

Yes. Every result is shown as a number and a bar length, the portrait panels change material and texture as well as color, and the share line uses shapes (robot, gear, tin can, sprout) rather than colored squares.

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